It feels like your whole body is
pumping lead. Or maybe
like your heart is drowning in mercury.
It feels like Hiroshima
inside your brain.
Like suddenly every mistake
came crashing down, all bearing the same message saying
It smells like the rotten stench of a science experiment
It sounds like the three words:
“It’s not you”
“But you didn’t”
“No other way”
or sometimes just
It’s me wishing this was all just
a beautiful lie, a nightmare, and when I wake up,
you’ll be back with me.
But i close my eyes every time, and